EVAN reveals childhood cancer battle, watching friends die during treatment; solo album 'DEATH OF ME' holds poignant message

Former ENHYPEN member EVAN (Lee Hee-seung, 이희승) is preparing to take the stage as a solo artist at KCON LA 2026, marking his first individual appearance at the major North American event. In a recent interview, EVAN discussed his journey, musical philosophy, and his new album, “DEATH OF ME.” Previously private about his childhood experiences, he revealed for the first time that he was diagnosed with malignant lymphoma in fourth grade. During his treatment, he witnessed friends pass away, leaving him with a single thought: “I just want to live. I want to go home.”

Reflecting on how he expresses himself through music, EVAN first recalled his childhood. He described himself as a lively and mischievous child, always running around. However, he then paused, stating, “But now… I think it’s time to talk about this.”

EVAN confessed that this was a part of his past he had never spoken about since becoming a singer. “In fourth grade, I was diagnosed with malignant lymphoma,” he revealed. He remembered constantly coughing, initially dismissing it as a common cold. One day, while playing soccer, he took only four or five steps before suddenly finding himself out of breath. “When I went to the hospital later, I found out it was cancer.”

The young EVAN embarked on a long treatment process. He admitted the treatment was difficult, but seeing his mother tirelessly care for him motivated him to appear strong in front of her, not wanting to cause her more worry.

During his hospitalization, the hospital organized talent shows and other activities for patients. EVAN would perform on guitar and even served as an MC. He had dreamed of becoming a singer since age six, but during his cancer treatment, he admitted he had no mental space for such thoughts. “Honestly, at that time, I didn’t even have the mental capacity to think about those things.”

What remains unforgettable for him is witnessing friends he was treated alongside pass away. During that period, he constantly told himself, “I just want to live. I want to go home.” Fortunately, EVAN ultimately survived the treatment and returned to his daily life, but recovery was not as easy as he imagined. His physical stamina significantly decreased, and he had to readjust to interacting with friends upon returning to school.

Because his hair was slowly growing back after chemotherapy, he was teased by classmates. Friends would even say to him, “What is that? Grass? You look like a monk.” However, EVAN did not retaliate, choosing instead to quietly endure it, hoping to reintegrate among his friends.

By middle school, although he still had close friends, his personality had changed from his childhood. “I wasn’t as outgoing as before; I became more introverted.” Speaking about this long-buried memory, EVAN admitted he hadn’t thought about these things in a long time. “It really hurts to talk about it again.”

This childhood battle with cancer became crucial inspiration for EVAN’s music years later. He stated that the songs on his new album, “DEATH OF ME,” aim to convey the message that “no matter how low you fall, it’s not the end.” The concept of “this is not my death” in the title track, “Death of Me,” specifically draws from his experience of truly being on the brink of death.

EVAN explained, “No matter how deep I fall, I’ve felt again and again that it’s not the real end.” He hopes fans can find hope in his music. Beyond confronting past pain, EVAN also uses his new album to acknowledge his own shortcomings. He admitted that even with his current success and fan support, he still feels “it’s not enough” and has many things he wants to try and accomplish in the future.

The album’s final track, “Going Home,” expresses his longing to “go home.” As a singer, he rarely gets to spend time with family. After a brief visit home, he once found himself tearing up in a taxi on the way back, lamenting, “I want to go home.”

Now, EVAN hopes to rediscover his true self through music. “I want to show everyone the real me.”